Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Just Thinking About Things

Just a little while ago I updated my facebook status that I needed help in teaching Jonah to control his temper, and within minutes, I had several encouraging comments and one long and really helpful chat with a more "seasoned" mom. She shared some real creative techniques for training in this area. One of them involves having him run laps to expel some of that angry energy! Can't wait to try that one. Well, yes I can. Obviously, I don't look forward to one of his rage explosions. But still, that will kind of be funny, I think, to see him run back and forth from one fence to the other in the backyard. I can just see it now, and I'm smiling. Anyway, it's on my mind tonight because I just feel so supported in this. When your child has major self-control problems, it's easy to either feel alone in it, or you feel togetherness with others but without solutions. I got me some answers tonight! And I'm liking that.

I also have Bible study on my mind. Today was the first day of a class I'll be leading for the next six weeks on the book of Hosea, and I'm thrilled to pieces about it. I just still get surprised sometimes when God does things totally differently than I expect. I knew my class would be small, only a handful of ladies, and I was excited about the intimacy level possible with that size group. One told me yesterday she couldn't participate because of childcare issues and a sick baby, and another one didn't show up today. The two people I'm "leading" are my sister-in-law and one of my closest girlfriends...two people I love dearly and respect in countless ways. Two people who teach me. I am beyond thrilled to spend time in the Word with these ladies, but I admit I struggled a little bit with the fact that I also wanted to really impact people who maybe weren't pursuing the Lord like these girls do. I get really excited about teaching people who aren't so much students of the Word on their own, and one of my main goals is to always help encourage other women to know Him through Scripture. That's just one of my main passions in ministry to women. I always want to be passionate and influence by way of sharing that passion with someone who might lack it. All of these things, of course, are things I can't do on my own, but that's the kind of vision I have for my personal ministry. So I think I had a twinge of disappointment that there wasn't also one person in the class that is a little more "needy" per se. Which may sound prideful. I hope not. I just had gotten excited about that possibility...I thought it's what God had in mind for how He planned on using me these next couple months. Just switching gears in my expectations now.

BUT. I am VERY excited about what God DOES have in mind for this class. It will be such a breeze to lead this class, not having to worry about personality dynamics and how that will affect participation (which is usually a teacher's main concern with these types of classes)! And oh so FUN. What's better than hanging out with your friends, talking about God and His Word?! It's a sweet blessing. I'll enjoy it. And I enjoy Hosea a lot. I'll learn a lot from these girls too.

But it just got me thinking about how skewed my perspective of true discipleship can get. It always works best when the multiplication concept is factored in. Why do I feel like I need to be the one always having the direct impact on struggling believers? Now that is pride, for sure. What happened to the notion that a true disciple makes disciples who make disciples?? I just was reminded of that today. How important it is that all three of us are led by the Lord into deeper love for Him so that we can help lead others through that experience as God wills those people into our paths! I just can lose sight so quickly sometimes.

So my brain has been running today. I've already started writing different posts in my head. Some of them are kind of bratty though. Like the one titled "My Least Favorite Church Excuse." I wonder if I should complete that one.

Time for me to shut off my brain and "veg" for the rest of the evening. I've been trying to implement a new discipline of getting up early 4 weekday mornings a week, and it's been helpful. I've gotten more stuff done, but boy am I tired when evening comes. I'm already cozied up in bed, ready to get caught up on The Hills (I know, I know! Judge all you want...) while my husband lays beside me reading more significant, helpful things such as The Ragamuffin Gospel and Raising Kids for True Greatness. With him doing double reading tonight, I should be able to zone out to Lauren, Heidi, and Audrina, don't ya think?


Marci said...

I think it is great that you are leading a Bible study and I don't think your disappointment should be completely disregarded.

Having a desire to lead those that are not as far down the path as you is so very important and I was glad to hear your disappointment.

Discipleship among friends is great, don't get me wrong, but so many times we get stuck in this comfort zone and do not allow ourselves to ever reach out to those who REALLY need us. So it was good to see the disappointment you had.

On the other hand, we cannot forget God's sovereignty, so you apparently have those there that were supposed to be there- - -so enjoy that time and challenge each other and grow together.

I want to know what Joel thinks about the Ragmuffin book- - -Jeff just told me today that he wanted to get that book. We have too many unread books lying around to order another, but would love to hear what he thinks of it.

alicia kristine said...

You are an inspiration sister!! You have inspired an already changing grocery budget! Your boldness is a rarity! What an encourager you are... and don't worry, we all have our "chocolate"... it makes you human! I watch the "real housewives" when I catch it late at night feeding Coops... those girls can decorate!! I'm adding you to my blog list... hope you don't mind!

Amanda said...

Hannah, I love your blog girl! You have inspired me to start one...
ask my roomie, I am forever saying "OOOH, I want to write about that when I start my blog. That would be SO great!"
Anyways, one of these days... Maybe when we start getting 'legitimate internet.' That's what I call it when you actually *pay* for your internet service.
I'll be sure to let you know when I do; remember you promised to be my biggest fan!

Jennifer said...

Oh girl! We love the hills too! Chris is more addicted than me even! On another note, I know running always helps me get rid of anger or stress! :) Also, don't be disappointed yet. Maybe others might join your Bible study after a few weeks or so?? Ya know, when the other two tell everyone how GREAT it is! I'm going to dig in to Hosea myself with you so that maybe I can ask you questions or comment?? Sound groovy? Miss ya & love ya.