Simplifying

That's the season I'm in...simplifying my life in such a way that my attention is really only given to a few things right now. The last month has been really different for me. I've stayed home a lot more and have had way fewer things going on outside my home. It hasn't really been by choice all the time, but as I mentioned recently, Jonah is going through a challenging time right now...it seems that the reality of a new sister finally hit him three months after she arrived and he's been trying all sorts of new things for attention. And it's fine. We're all learning. But there have been some really hard days. I've just realized several things through this, and one is that we need to be home more, addressing issues and training his little heart, so most playdates have been put on hold for a while. I found that I just couldn't give him the quality time he needs and meet Parker's needs if we have very much else going on. If we tried to do much else, one kid would be suffering. It's just a season we're in. And what's funny is that in the past, I've had mom friends that have been in such a season and I just felt so sorry for them! I didn't know how anyone could handle being "shut in" so much! That's just the sanguine in me. Not to mention that I am such a "go-er." But I've really started to love it! Sure, I'd love a little more adult interaction and girl time, but that will come again, I'm sure. For now, this is so important. We've gotten some structure back to our lives, which has helped a ton. And Parker has turned out to be fairly predictable in her routine (though I recognize that that could change in just a second), and I am just enjoying my kids so much. There have been unenjoyable times, of course...I think dealing with angry tantrums all day is very draining! And it can get so discouraging when you have a day where you give up every pleasure for yourself and you devote yourself entirely to meeting the needs of your kids, and then at the end of the day, you really don't see a glimpse of its fruit. That's hard. But even on those exhausting days, my heart is enthralled with the goodness of this responsibilty of motherhood, and I love the "job" so much. And the Lord is so sweet to give endurance when I need it, support from my husband (these challenges with Jonah have really forced us to work together as a team like never before, and that's been a blessing for our relationship!), and continual lessons on dependence. And especially sweet is that the tantrums are defintely lessening in frequency, so maybe we're nearing the other side. (The other side being that they're the exception instead of the norm.) Until this past month, I've never really felt desperate in parenting, and He's shown me before that desperate is good! So it's been a good time. Sometimes brokenness just looks like simplifying in my life. So that's what I am doing and will be doing for a while hopefully. And I really am liking it. And surprised I am liking it so much. The pace isn't slower, I am still doing things nonstop from before dawn until almost midnight most days. But it's the most important things that are getting done.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I will have some friend time! Mom, Parker, and I are headed to a dear friend's wedding reception in Dallas, and I'm also going to another friend's wedding shower there. I'll be seeing several good friends that I don't get to see very often, so I'm excited! Hopefully we'll have time to squeeze in a few shopping stops too! I hope I remember to take pictures; I've been really bad about that lately.