Monday, February 23, 2009

New Week

Last week was strange. Thank you to all those who prayed for little Brady. He's doing much better. We're so thankful he finally started to get well! He was really sick (temp was 104.5 when he went to the doctor last Saturday morning before being sent to the ER) and in such terrible pain for so many days. He's home now, playing and crawling around like usual, with nurses coming out daily to help with the care of his incision from having to have surgery last Monday to remove infection. The sweet guy went through so much. I can't imagine what it would feel like to be a parent of that child. What they went through watching their child in so much pain, not being able to do anything to bring him comfort, and then handing him over to doctors for him to undergo an operation, was awful. I have no firsthand experience of anything like that. This was the "closest" I've come to it. The most I've personally seen a child suffer. And I admit, it rattled me. I was struggling with it, talking to God about it but mainly in protest. It's impossible in the moment to grasp why something like that is happening and even more difficult to accept that you don't know. While I was not experiencing it as a parent and wouldn't dare want to sound like I'm comparing it, I could see clearly that the whole process involved surrender and that surrender doesn't come without struggle. You watch a baby not able to even sleep because of pain, for days straight, and you struggle. That's just the nature of our life as humans. But what really convicted me is that while I was wrestling through some of this, in praying for Brady, I was struck with the thought that God allows this to happen A LOT. Children suffer. Innocent babies live with very harsh circumstances. There are millions of them all over the world. Their pain doesn't let up. Babies who don't get to experience the blessing of good medical care. And it's so easy to get all fired up about it when it's my nephew and my family going through it, because, of course, I love them so much. But how worked up do I get about all of the other suffering in the world? Not enough. Not enough to really look like a follower of Christ. Honestly, not even once a month for me. I rarely even look at the needs of the suffering, poor, sick children in the world, let alone get so passionately compassionate for them that I talk to God about it like I talked to God on behalf of Brady last week. Except for some specific times God has confronted me with the suffering of the world in a way that left me no choice but to take action, I don't wrestle through it in prayer, I don't carry that burden. Most often, I ignore it. And I'm really being convicted about that. There's been a new thing stirring in me. I don't know what. Something. Something that makes me want to do something.

Last week was such a blur. I didn't do many of my regular activities. I was pretty checked out. So today starts a new week, and it's back to all of the normal stuff. It's weird how those abnormal weeks just hit you by surprise. I want to be better prepared for those when they come. I feel behind. And I wish I could stay ahead of the course more often so that surprise weeks like last week don't throw me so far off. But I'm getting back on track this week. And there's lots to do! Oh, and I have lots to say, so there will be more new posts coming soon!


Courtney said...

I feel like the last several weeks between sweet Tuesday's death and all this with Stacie that I know a similiar emotion and the conviction that comes once the storm gas begin to settle a little.

I don't know what it looks like yet and to be honest I am kinda scared but I know I want to figure it out before the Lord feels I am not be active in my convictions and life lessons.

I don't think you knew/know Stacie. She actually goes to a different church but there are lots around the community trying to pull together for their family. Her littlest goes to good shepherd with my kids

Amy said...

One thing someone once told me that helped me a lot amid going through pain was that when God allows/causes us to go through things like that, he is showing us a small taste of what he has saved us from in hell. Sounds kind of morbid, but it really helped me a lot this weekend when i was in the ER with a kidney stone and I just kept thinking man, I am so happy that Christ died so I wouldn't have to go through pain like this and way worse for eternity.

It also works the good way too, when we get glimpses of how amazing heaven will be =)