Father's Day Thoughts

Happy Father's Day to my wonderful daddy and to the amazing daddy of my son! I was thinking about how blessed I am to have two men in my life who reflect the Lord to me by the ways in which they father their children. My dad is the most obvious example in my life of how God can turn anything into something beautiful, and no relationship is beyond the reach of God's touch of healing. I love our relationship and am so thankful for how much sweeter God has allowed it to be during my adult years. Through my dad's unfailing and selfless love for me, I really get a glimpse of God's love for me too. At the top of my thankful list for this year is God's gracious gift in protecting my dad when he had his heart attack three months ago today. Thank you, Lord, for that happy ending. And as I have watched my husband with my son this week, I am blessed by their sweet bond. They have a special one, and I know it will last forever, even when Jonah is all grown up. They will be friends, and it will be dear. I see in Joel some amazing father qualities that I know originate in the heart of the perfect Father. Joel does so well in being strong, steadfast, and consistent in the area of authority and boundaries, yet he doesn't sacrifice love, mercy, and affection to Jonah. What an amazing blend of justice and love/grace that automatically points towards the Lord and reflects who He is as a Father to us. Today I miss my father-in-law being on earth. I miss the time I didn't get to have with him. But I know for sure that the best of Bill Estes is definitely in my husband! Joel has so many of his dad's admirable characteristics, and this wife and mommy is way blessed by them.

Happy Anniversary To Me and Joel!

Well, I wanted to talk about this when I posted this morning, but I ran out of time, and Jonah was very ready for me to be off the computer then. The pool time this afternoon was great but cut a little short by a random thunderstorm! But that's ok. I'll take whatever tan I can get. =) It has been a much needed time of stillness with the Lord though. As I reflected on the four years I have been married to my sweetie, this became my prayer:

Lord God, I am thankful for the many blessings you have poured on us these last four years. I am thankful for the lessons. I still long for more. I desperately want our marriage to be a picture of Christ and His love for His children. I'd love for our life together to reflect you in such a compelling way that others are drawn to you and want to know you more intimately. Some days I feel like we are nowhere close to that. But Lord, I confess that I do not pray nearly enough to that end. Keep me on my knees for my marriage. Energize me every day to fight for continual peace, a godly attitude, graceful speech, and selfless service in my home and on my part. I want to live it. I want to tear down pride and always be willing to be the first to change when our marriage moves further away from reflecting you. Keep me sitting at your feet every day, soaking in all that you have for me. That's the only way I will ever be filled up enough to love in the way you want me to. Whenever I get up and walk away from that place, sit me back down. Thank you for the huge blessings during the last four years - through the numerous life changes, moves, beautiful additions, and tragic good-byes - life has been full. I am especially thankful for how you have revealed you through all of those things. And most of all, thank you that your grace never gets tired of me.

Ta-Da!

Here are before and after pictures of my new (old) dining table. The project is nearly complete. There are a few touch-ups to be done, but it has already been put to use several times. I love it! I think I may have found a new hobby: hunting for really old pieces of furniture and refinishing them to make them look prettier! Hopefully there will be more of these opportunities in the future. But let me tell you, I am no expert. However, I do have FRIENDS who are! And I take advantage! =) Seriously, I have had a few "consultants" who have walked me through the steps and let me borrow tools and have graciously lent a helping hand when needed, and I am so appreciative. Joel is just hoping that the new table motivates me to cook more!

Here's what it looked like when I got it:


And the finished product:



So fun! I feel really blessed.

Well, we had planned a day of swimming with a friend in Lindale, but her son has a skin rash that might possibly be contagious. So those plans, sadly, got canceled this morning. We didn't want to take any chances. But I think Jonah and I are about to head off to the pool for a while, because I had already gotten my hopes up for a TAN today! I'm going to drop him off for a nap at my mom's house while I head back to the pool this afternoon. I'm excited to have some time alone to sit in the sun and read, journal, and really pray through some things. I'm seeking God's heart on some ministry opportunities that have come my way lately. I only want to do what He wants me to right now, and it's so hard not to say yes to all of them, because they all sound fun. But I want to guard against getting over-committed, and I want to make sure I have the time to stay at home enough with my son to really focus on some character training during this really important stage of his development. But my mom and I have recently agreed to coordinate the women's Bible studies at our church. I'm SO excited about the task, but I know God will just have to do it through us, and it won't be about us, that's for sure, because it is a big job. A little overwhelming even. I've never been in a church where there are so many women's Bible studies offered. They offer about 8-10 in the fall and spring semesters and usually half of that in the summertime. It's amazing to be in a place where there are so many gifted Bible teachers and women who are interested and passionate about being in the classes and studying God's Word. It really is incredible. But all that to say, things have to be organized way in advance. We just met this week about what our role will be, and we have a mere two weeks to coordinate EVERYTHING for the fall studies....figure out studies, find teachers, set up schedules, purchase studies, etc. It will be a busy two weeks! I plan on leading a study in the fall....Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. If you've ever read or taken that one, feel free to comment on anything you learned or gained insight on. I'd love to know! Those things I know I'm going to be doing, and I'm so excited about those ministries. They are my passion! But I'm also prayerfully considering some other things too....the big one being a return to MOPS next year as a discussion group leader. I'm excited about the thought of having a group of moms that I can relationally invest in, in a more organized way. But I've also loved doing that with any moms I come into contact with, through playdates, playgroups, coffee dates, etc., and I know that MOPS would limit me from being able to devote as much time to those relationships and get-togethers. I'm just dying to know what God wants me to do! So hopefully today, He and I can sit and chat about it and I can hear from Him. And maybe He will be gracious enough to let me get a good tan too! =)

My Baby is Two Years Old!!!

Well, the party has come and gone. It was so busy that it was kind of a blur, but really fun! I'm posting pics for you to see! He had a good time. He really loved the attention when everyone sang happy birthday, and after he blew out the candles (with help), he decided to take the unshelled peanuts that were in a nearby bowl and place them on his cake. He pushed a whole bunch of peanuts into the icing. It was funny. Weird. But funny. We had lots of good laughs! Jonah's great aunt Jan and my cousin Cory's wife Heather came from Lufkin, bringing the three girl-second-cousins, so it was great having them there too. Wish we had had longer to visit with them. Jonah loves his train we gave him. Only part of it is put together yet, so I will post a picture once we get it all together. But he likes playing with it now, even not finished, and he also got a bunch of toy zoo animals that he is obsessed with. The animals really like to go on the train. He's a creative little guy. =) One day I'll have to blog about the lessons learned about children's birthday parties since becoming a mom. I'm learning a lot about what works and what doesn't! The bottom pic is of two of the Lufkin cousins, Alex and baby Reese.





We had a really fun time with Candy, Jen, Eric, and Ciera visiting. We had fun with sidewalk chalk, as you can see below. We also went to Canton to a newer water park on Sunday night with a group from the children's ministry at our church, and it was so much fun. I only have this one picture of him walking into the water park all excited, because the rest of the time, I was in the water. Such a fun place. It's called Splash Kingdom, and I highly recommend it to families nearby. It's one of those places that is really good for both older kids and little bitty ones - and adults for that matter! We loved it. Check it out here: www.splashkingdomwaterpark.com.


And finally, I have to include some photos of Jonah when he woke up Saturday morning. Of course, the only two days of the year that he sleeps extra late are Christmas Day and his birthday! I can't believe it! The two days we were DYING for him to wake up! So, we were in his room the second we heard a peep that morning....and I captured this pic so I'd remember what he looked like the first time I saw him as a two-year old. Yes, he's got a pacifier in his mouth and one in each hand! I wonder if he slept like that! And he got his beloved red donut for breakfast that day, complete with two candles. What a fun day!



Thanks everyone, for the birthday wishes, cards, gifts, etc. I'm blessed to have sweet family and friends who did not let me forget that it was my birthday too! I almost did. I'm off now to attend to some pastoral-wifely duties....I'm joining Joel tonight as he visits a community group. I'm excited. Partly because my hairdresser is in that group, and I really need her advice about what to do since my new haircolor has majorly faded and the blond underneath is showing through. How's that for motives! =)

Funny Jonah

Jonah is confused about something. I think he thinks his dad doesn't live here! Whenever Joel comes home from work or comes home for lunch, Jonah gets so excited of course and exclaims, "Daddy come over!" Really, he wakes up in the mornings and first asks if daddy's at work. If Joel is at work already, I tell Jonah, and Jonah says confidently, "Daddy come over later" or "Daddy come over in a ittlebit" (yes, that's "little bit") It's keeping us laughing though. Joel really doesn't work that much! =)

I just moved a couple of hot wheels that Jonah was playing with, and he didn't like it, so he said, very sternly might I add, "No sir, Mommy!" I missed the chance to correct him for speaking to me like that, because I was trying so hard not to laugh! I knew that as a mother there would be moments where I see or hear myself through my child, but I didn't know it would be so soon! Oh, the laughs just keep coming....This kid is hilarious.

Keep It Simple, Sweetheart!

The title of this post reflects the name of the Bible study class I'm taking for the next six weeks, and yesterday was the first time we met. My mom is taking it with me, which is fun. I don't think we've ever done one together. I feel so blessed to be a part of this group and to sit under teaching of yet another amazing godly woman. I'm so grateful God keeps putting these people in my path! I would love for her to mentor me, but probably everyone that knows her asks her to mentor them, so I am not going to. But I'm still praying about a mentor. But anyway, the teacher is authentic, spirited, funny as heck, and passionate for God's Word. I'm loving it. The focus of this study is on simplifying our spiritual lives, and it zeroes in on the two greatest commandments God gives, to love Him and to love others. The first three weeks will focus on knowing and loving God through His Word and through prayer, and the last three weeks will be on loving one another. I'm already feeling pretty challenged. This study is not in book form, we are just studying the Bible how God leads and journaling our way through the various passages and topics He leads each of us to personally. For instance, as we focus on studying God's Word this week and next, we will choose something to study so that we can put into practice the studying-strategies that we learn. This is the most fun part, for me, because I love Bible study! But God is already surprising me with where He is taking me. I decided I would study a particular text and definitely not pick a topic to study. Nothing against topical studies, they're just not my favorite. It just takes more work to figure out the appropriate contexts for passages when you're jumping around to different passages. So I tend to lead more towards studying a passage that has a clear beginning and end. So anyway, I had plans to do that. But then God changed them. He does that a lot, I'm learning. The teacher had a little notecard that listed some topic ideas, and the bottom one caught my eye and made me say, "darn!" The topic was none other than "the tongue." Yuck. God has already been convicting me so much about that lately, and part of me resisted studying that further. But God starting working in my heart, and by the time class ended I knew I needed to choose that one as my topic of study for the week. If the Lord brought up this issue with me last week, then I better go ahead and go as far with Him down that road as possible and learn ALL that I can about it, so I can change and be done having to revisit the issue! And it's only been a couple of days of studying, but I am so blessed by what He is showing me. I love that He loves us enough to take the time to show us where we need to change so that we don't have to miss out on more abundant life with Him. Because of what I wrote last week about words coming from the heart, I've been looking more closely at the heart issues that spur ungodly conversation issues like complaining, nagging, etc., and these heart issues include selfishness, lack of trust, insecurity, and discontentment. Actually, there are sadly a whole lot more, but I'll spare you. And me! But it's been eye-opening to say the least. And incredibly exhilarating, because God never shows us something ugly about our hearts that He doesn't always have the remedy for. And His remedy always showcases His loving grace. So as I deal with those things with Him, and they are of course an ongoing process and time is involved, I know more of His amazing attributes and can have a deeper and sweeter friendship with Him. What a good God. I will try at least once a week to blog about this Bible study journey just as a way to think through what He is showing me and to remind myself of the important things. Just putting this stuff out there in blog-world is hard, but it is a form of built-in accountability that I know is good for me.

Only three more days until Jonah's birthday, and I am getting really excited. Today I made the icing for his cakes, and I've been working on last-minute details. It looks like almost everyone invited is going to be there, so we might have a little crowd on our hands. I thought it would be small just because I figured not everyone could come. Summer birthdays tend to be that way with vacations and all that. So now I have to be praying for good weather, because it would be really cramped in our house to have all those people. It's planned as a backyard party. So join me in praying please, because there's a chance of rain!!! And I have no clue what to do if it rains. Candy, Eric, Jen, and Ciera will be here tomorrow evening, and we have lots of fun stuff planned for their visit, even a trip to a waterpark! Yay! I'm so excited about that. Ready for them to get here. Well, that boy is awake from his nap and yelling "I want out" so I better go get him. And I need to see if I can come up with an alternate dessert for our community group's cookout tonight since I just forgot about the brownies in the oven while I've been blogging! Where oh where has my brain gone?!

Birthday Week

This is going to be one fun, busy week! Five more days until my baby turns two years old! What a little man he is already. This last month has brought so many changes in terms of his speech, developing personality, and a newfound desire for some independence. He's recently started eating cereal with milk out of a bowl and with a spoon, and as if that isn't big-boy enough, when he finished eating today, he picked up the bowl and drank the remaining milk and didn't even spill! That may not sound like a big deal to many, but to this mommy, that's huge! I wanted to cry. =) I just can't wait for him to open his present from us. I already wrapped it, and Jonah excitedly anticipates the day he can open it! It's a really big box (because it holds a train set), and I asked Jonah this morning what he thought was in his present, and he paused for a minute and then confidently exclaimed, "A Red Donut!" Wow. I could have gotten off a whole lot easier with this birthday present thing if I'd known that was his big dream. I guess we'll have a birthday red donut for breakfast that day.

On Friday, my friend Melody (a college friend/roommate) came into town, and it was fun hanging out with her. Actually, it was a very encouraging time. She came over and had lunch with us, then she so sweetly joined me for an errand to Toys R Us, and we spent some good relaxing girl time at Starbucks. Good times. Later that afternoon, Joel and I took Jonah to the pool for his first swimming experience of this year. By the way, I cannot believe we haven't been able to go to the pool this year before June 1st! I think it's the first time I can ever remember that happening in Texas. But it was great fun! The water was still pretty cool, but Jonah loved jumping from the side of the pool into Daddy's arms. He sure wanted to be held the whole time in the water, but when Joel would let go of him, he'd realize about two seconds later that he was ok thanks to his floaties, and he'd get happy. Can't wait until we get to go again!



I'm so thankful for some new energy God has recently given me for a particular relationship in my life. I've been so burdened for someone I love, and I have been disheartened to see this person make some choices that I know will have very destructive consequences. I know that this person hasn't been anywhere in his/her heart that I haven't been, but I am just overwhelmed with gratitude that God did not leave me there and that He provides grace and forgiveness for everyone and LOVES to redeem messed up lives. That is His specialty. I want so much for this person to realize that and embrace a whole new life with Him. I've prayed for so long about my role in it, if it involves speaking out directly and/or a "confrontation" of some sort. Although I've wanted to speak up at times, God has kept me silent, never giving me confirmation that that's what He wanted. So I've just waited and prayed. And just this week, I sense that He's leading me to just pour out love on this person and to really nurture that relationship more. I didn't realize I had stopped doing that, until He pointed it out this week. I never stopped loving this person, but I realized that I had stopped opening up my life as much, I stopped inviting this person in, and I learned that fear of rejection was definitely playing a part. I had no idea. I have to be willing to keep trying, even when there is resistance, keep opening up my life and building a relationship in an effort to let Christ shine through. I cannot be a vessel of God's abundance grace if I close myself off or stop trying to erode the distance that is between us. So I felt refreshed, knowing that God wants me to stop thinking so much about what I can say and more about how I can find opportunities to once again invest in this person on a relational level and surround him/her with God's love. His love is the only thing that changes people anyway. And I will definitely have to look for those opportunities. They are not just coming my way; I'll have to be intentional. And He has already started leading me to some of those opportunities. But I am SO EXCITED about what God is doing in this situation! I realized a few days ago that if He were showing me all of this about how I am to respond to this person, He is STILL AT WORK. Why else would He even be showing me this stuff?! He is working in this person's life. And I may just get to play a role in expressing God's love, so I have to be willing to do that. But He's doing something! That I know for sure. And sometimes when you pray for something for so long and you haven't gotten any signs that change is happening or coming, it gets hard. My friend Kelli calls those signs "glimpses", and that's exactly what I got this week: a glimpse into something God is working on, and it brought hope and encouragement. I can't wait to see how He finishes it! (Phil. 1:6)