Saturday, February 24, 2007


What a blessing to be a part of Beth Moore's conference today in Tyler. I am thankful to have been a part of something so huge today. There were thousands of women gathered to hear the Lord speak through her, and the event was simulcasted to over 500 sites, one being a women's prison, and churches in every denomination you can think of, bringing the audience to a total of 150,000 people....yea God! The topic addressed today was "Straight Talk About God's Deliverance," and is it ever an important one. I fully believe that we will never live out the purposes God has for our lives if we have never experienced His deliverance in our lives. Being delivered is what causes us to fall on our face in humble awareness of His grace and makes us fall in love with our Savior and propels us into purposeful living.

The message of God's deliverance touches home for me.....nothing is closer to my heart. He has rescued me from so many pits in my lifetime, the biggest of all being intense battles with depression and panic. I feel like when I have shared with others before about His deliverance for me in that area, perhaps I have not represented it in the best way. What I mean is that He did not take me out of the valley (or at least right away) but instead taught me how to live victoriously while in it. He is most concerned with those lessons. And I believe He will keep us in the valley a little longer than we'd like to be there (or more often than we'd like) in order to get us to that point where we are actually living abundant life. I know I was a slower learner! In fact, Satan is always on the prowl, so I know I am not exempt from being put in that particular struggle again. But now I know how to LIVE while in the valley! The valleys hold special memories for me. It was then that I learned to have intimate fellowship with my sweet Savior. It was then that I really discovered His love for me in an extremely personal way. It was then that I had my first experiences of really trusting Him - not just saying it but having the peace to match up with the words. It was then that I fell in love with His Word and discovered my desperate need for it. It was then that I realized our true purpose on this earth - to walk so closely with Him that we let Him live His holiness through us so that others can see Him and know Him because of Christ in us. It was then that I was challenged to walk in obedience when every single emotion of mine was telling me not to, and it was then that I saw Him as my Obedience-helper, as I had to walk through some difficult tests and live out what I believed, regardless of the pain of my circumstances. (By the way, those lessons come as we step out in action and obedience - growth doesn't just happen....we make choices that set us up for receiving the growth God intends for us, and we will have to fight for some things. What a privilege to even be able to participate with God on something like that though!)

Everyone's pit looks different, and it doesn't take some huge dramatic event in life to put us in one. My heart hurts for the many young moms I know who are not experiencing any kind of abundant life and are drowning in the pressures of motherhood. Again, everyone's pit is different, that is just a specific one that I see around me all of the time, and I am so burdened for those moms. Life can be full in joy even when it is hard. That is one thing I absolutely know for certain, because it has been my experience over and over again. It wasn't always that way, and I will tell you that I have to work at it like crazy still....I'm having to do that now with my grief over the loss of our little baby. But I KNOW it happens, and I know it is a blessed thing. Joy is right there with me.

I'm thankful for this place to write down these thoughts and process all that the Lord had to say to me today at the conference. I feel most convicted about my lack of sharing with others my testimonies of God's deliverance in my life and even making a point to remember it. When I do remind myself of all that God did for me by His restorative grace, then everything else flows easily from that....ministry/mission is a joy, and difficult tasks and hardships become blessed opportunities for me to respond with holiness and demonstrate my gratefulness to God. I must make a point to do it more! That is the conviction that has prompted this post tonight. I'll stop for now and maybe continue writing on the subject more this week. For now, I have to figure out plans for my mom's birthday dinner tomorrow night and get a shopping list together!