Thursday, February 15, 2007

Trust


God seems to have the same goal in every single circumstance in life: to teach me to trust. I sense Him saying to my heart all of the time, "Hannah, are you going to trust me with this?" He uses all kinds of situations and experiences to try to teach me this one thing. There are times He'll use the "big" things - you know, the most dreaded events of all, and other times, He'll just use tiny little things, the "bad hair days" of life that aren't so dramatic but still are a frustration. I'll admit that it is typically easier for me to trust Him with big things that really bring pain than the little daily things that get on my nerves. I don't know why exactly - perhaps the pain just drives you to Him, and then once you get a glimpse of who He is, you can't help but put your trust in Him because you realize He is just worthy of it. Maybe I just don't let the "little" things drive me to Him.

God teaches me through both. Currently, I'm in a season of learning to trust Him with something that is pretty big to me and has brought great pain. I would love to share some of the incredible ways God has been showing up as I've trusted Him with this loss; it has been amazing! But that would be a discussion much more appropriate for having coffee with a girlfriend, because I could never write it all down here! I know my posts have been too long lately! I would love to have opportunities to share that with friends. But for now, I will share one example of a "small" thing He's teaching me to trust Him with.......

I was staring out the window watching tiny little snowflakes fall this morning and was so convicted about my attitude towards the weather. I have had a complaining spirit about how cold it is, trying to convince God how important it is for me to get out of the house more and do fun things outdoors with Jonah. And the Lord just gently reminded me that if He's big enough to trust with grief and real suffering, He's big enough to trust about the weather! I may think it's necessary for my sanity to be able to leave the house more during the day, but maybe God just wants me to spend more time at home with my son this week, being available for opportunities God gives me to train him or just enjoy his company without being distracted. I have to choose to trust that God knows what I need way better than I do. It's such a little thing - having 30-something degree weather when you're ready for spring - but the lessons on trust are HUGE. I must, in every circumstance in life, choose to trust that He knows what I need and can be trusted to deliver it, even if it is different than what I had pictured or would have planned myself. Also, He reminded me that winter is important.....I wouldn't be the girl who gets so excited she's downright silly on the first day of flip-flop weather if I didn't have to go through the dreaded cold months first. Isn't that just how it is with life? God's gracious gifts mean so much more after experiencing low, despairing valleys. That is a truth that transcends all difficult circumstances, whether "big" or "small" and reminds me that there is reason to hope - God will bring something new.

This picture of Jonah is at Chuck E. Cheese (or Chuck-Cheese, as he calls it). He's added something new to his list of obsessions: Barney! Despite our discouragement of this interest, he had decided he loves Barney and likes to dance and try to sing to all of his songs on DVD. He talks about Barney constantly, and the thing in life that he is most excited to do is ride the Barney ride at Chuck E. Cheese....you can see the excitement in his eyes! Hey, if it will get him to eat his veggies because "Barney eats carrots", then we'll be ok with this new fascination of his!

1 comments:

Andrea said...

Your comment about having a bad attitude about the weather hit home for me! You are right though, if God can handle the big things, the small things should be a piece of cake!